Today's "we encourage" post is coming to you from Laura at
Splendor. I asked her to guest post because I want to encourage her to keep doin what she's doin. She is a beautiful sister in Christ who writes openly and honestly on her blog. Thanks for hosting Laura! You are a true treasure. I'm thankful to call you friend!
PS: She also makes AMAZING jewelry! Go check out the
Splendor Shop.
Grab a button and link up, then go leave some love to encourage others!
We went swimming a lot this summer. By the end of the summer, the kids had become little fishes. Bella still needed her floaties on, not 100% sure of how to swim without them. She got used to them being on. They were her security.
One afternoon, after we'd been swimming for a while, we got out of the pool to grab a snack. Mia was fussy so I turned my attention to feed her. I looked up to check in on Bella. In a split second, I realized Bella had walked down the stairs of the pool and into the water without her floaties on. She was kicking her little feet as fast they could go, not able to reach the bottom. Gasping as she struggled to keep her head above water. It felt like my body wouldn't move fast enough to get to her. My mind racing, my mouth yelling out to her, but my body wasn't going fast enough. I jumped in the water and grabbed her. She was shaken up, but fine. I held her and told her it was ok. I wrapped her in a towel and sat her on my lap as she calmed down.
She was quiet.

A few minutes later, she asked me, "Mommy, why didn't Jesus pick me up out of the water?"
I told her he did. Cause mommy was there and saw her quick enough to get her out of the water before anything happened. That her angels were protecting her and helped mommy see her.
Later that night, after I tucked her in bed, she asked me that question again. Wondering why she didn't see Jesus protecting her. I reminded her that her angels and Jesus are always watching over her and keeping her safe, even though she can't see them. That they did save her. Even though it didn't happen the way she thought it should. They did protect her.
I loved that she asked that question. I loved that she challenged what I've always taught her…that God will always be with her and protect her.
She's only 3 years old. She doesn't fully understand the concept that even though we can't always see God in situations, and even though things don't happen the way we think they should, He's there. Protecting us, guiding us, directing and loving us. Always with the best for us in mind.
But I think a lot of us still don't understand that concept. We wonder why bad things happen to good people. We wonder why He doesn't answer a prayer right away or in the way we think He should. We think maybe He's not listening. We wonder, maybe we did something wrong. Something to deserve the bad. The trials. The struggles.
I once had a friend ask me if I thought that what has happened to me, losing my 2 sweet girls at 20 and 24 weeks, was because of something I had done. She wasn't accusing. She wasn't implying. She was honestly seeking answers. Grasping for logic. Why bad things happen to good people.
I was happy she asked me that question. I was happy to tell her what I believed, because it's come from deep conversations with God. Some real searching.
For some reason I think we're quick to place blame. On ourselves. Our actions. Decisions. Whatever it is. We think it must be something we did. We must have deserved it. We pray so hard for a certain outcome. A job. Healing. A baby.
It didn't happen the way we thought it would or when we thought it should. We must not have deserved it.
But I don't think that is true. I think….no I know, that I serve a God who loves us. Who wants only the best for us. I did battle with questions and accusations after I lost our babies. It was almost easier to grasp the first time we lost a baby, Grace Anne. We could believe the Dr.'s term of calling it a "fluke"-- something that just happened with no real apparent reason. We could blame it on chromosomal abnormalities. On her being sick. That was a little easier to take.
But when it happened again, when we lost Faith Marie. That was hard. Heart breaking. Earth shattering. It rocked my world. My ideas, thoughts, and perceptions of everything I'd ever been taught.
I had to ask God some very real questions. And I had to get some real answers. I knew deep down, that it wasn't anything I did. That I didn't deserve any of it. That we live in a fallen world with loss, tragedy and suffering. That there is an enemy who comes to steal, kill and destroy.
I knew these things. But I think God still wanted me to ask the questions. I think he wants us to dig deeper. Not to settle on the cliche's or general answers that we've been taught all of our lives. To challenge them. To challenge Him.
Because thats when our relationships get deeper. Stronger. We have a real, personal understanding of God and who He is. A loving God. Who doesn't do things to us to teach us lessons. Who doesn't take or withhold good things from us. Thats not the God I know and serve. And with that knowledge, I'm OK with not knowing the answers. Not know fully understanding the "why's."
Because in my seeking, I found something more priceless than any answer I could have received.
Peace.
That only comes from knowing Him. Truly knowing Him.
I hope Bella doesn't settle for the answers I gave her. I hope as she grows, she continues to challenge them. That she matches up the word to them. Seeks and finds them on her own. Because I know that is when she will fully know that even when we don't feel him lifting us up out of our struggles, He's there. And He always will be.