so when carina said "hey, you wanna do the beth moore esther study?"
i was like "yah, i'm up for that."
well, i'm in the first week and i've already cried so i can only imagine what the next 9 weeks will bring.
preach it beth.
i read scenario #1 and thought, AMEN.
then i realized something.
something i'm extremely thankful for.
God has pulled me out of this shadow.
we all know what beth is talking about here. that woman at church, in your family, at work, or in your playgroup that has it all together. or at least she seems like she does.
and then we go home and compare ourselves to her.
compare our clothes, our talents, our children...i could make a list a mile long.
we feel overshadowed. small.
but feeling small, is a lie.
God's word says,
for in him you have been enriched in every way- in all your speaking and in all your knowledge- because our testimony about Christ was confirmed in you. therefore you do not lack any spiritual gifts as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. he will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.
1 corinthians 1:5-9
this is the truth friends. and i believe it. not because i don't have insecurities. i have too many to list. not that i don't have days where i feel totally ill equipped to handle the job set before me. i believe it because i know God's word is truth. i know his purpose for me belongs to no one else.
he has freed me from comparison and discontentment.
i strive to do better, always.
but i do not strive to be someone or something other than the woman he made me.
flawed, but joyful.
scared, but determined.
determined to fulfill whatever he has for me. even the things that seem beyond my ability. even things i thought i could never do. because i believe he has equipped me. and what i fear more than falling short of that woman i would compare myself to, is missing his perfect will for ME.
not that i have obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but i press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. brothers, i do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. but one thing i do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, i press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God had called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
so i will press on in obedience, faith and hope. not to where "she" is going, but to where God is calling me.
the woman with the amazing outfit that i know would look ridiculous on me? i tell her how amazing she looks, but i don't go out and buy her wardrobe.
the friend who makes out of this world jewelry or prints? i don't pout because my talent is not in that area, i wait for a sale and buy her stuff. a lot of her stuff.
the mom who has 6 kids, in 4 different activities and has them all there, on time, dressed to kill because she is super organized and thrives under that pressure? i don't try to keep up with her schedule. i realize that's not who i am...and maybe i ask her if she can take my kid with her. just sayin.
i will not feel overshadowed, because i was made to shine.
i have no doubt the next 9 weeks in his word will reveal something about where he is taking me.
this week? this week i will remain thankful for where he has brought me.